Personal Journey

WHY I’M A PHONY AND HOW I PLAN TO FIX IT

A Personal Journey to Live Life to the Fullest

I am a personal trainer but I’m also a phony.

I always tell people that it is possible to be fit, healthy, and to live life to the fullest.

Here We Go…

Its time for me to confess. I’m a liar. I am the total opposite of what I preach. My time is spent being a slave to my schedule, having an unhealthy obsession with keeping my routine. I do everything by the clock and am always looking at it to determine my every step, my next move. My routine is to do the same thing at the same time every single day. There is a wall in my head that makes it incapable for me to switch my schedule even though I may have basically entire days free to do whatever comes up. Being this way makes it very difficult to live life to the fullest in any way.

In fact, any sudden surprises thrown into my day are followed by a complete and total meltdown. I start to panic and shut down completely. This is why afternoon naps are required daily. Naps are an escape. Nothing bad can happen while you’re napping, right?

Why am I like this? Because just like many other people my decisions are driven by fear. You may not be able to tell by looking at me but I suffer from extreme anxiety. I’m terrified of anything and everything. My routine is my safe place, predictability, knowing what’s coming next, not having any surprises is all comfortable.

This mindset has led me to become a completely different person from the one I knew so many years ago. I used to be somewhat spontaneous. Now, I need a month to mentally prepare for social events which I often end up canceling to avoid any uncomfortable situations.

I’ve avoided some really important events in my friends lives. So many opportunities to make memories that have been lost.

My Ah Ha Moment

I recently read an article by Emily Laurence called “Sick of Being on Auto-Pilot? These are 5 Steps to Living Life to the Fullest.” https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/living-life-fullest/

This article made me step back and assess my life. How can I coach a healthy, balanced, full lifestyle to my clients if I, myself cant achieve that?

One of the things I pride myself on as a trainer is leading by example. I feel like a total hypocrite. I need to lead by example in other ways. I need to show it is possible to have it all because honestly it is.

I’ve named this blog Wild One Fitness based on a person I used to be not the person I am today. There is still hope for me. There are traces left of that person I used to be and it’s not too late to salvage things.

Over the last couple of years I’ve allowed certain events and criticisms of others affect the way I live my life. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I’ve never cared about the opinions of others before and I’m not going to continue to allow that to stop me from thriving. It’s not healthy for anyone to live their life by someone else’s standards. No one can control the outcome of your life but you. It’s time to take back the control.

I want you to come with me on my journey. I’m going to follow Emily’s 5 steps. Its time to become a person of depth and not just a person that spits out workouts and nutrition advice. Most of us are living our lives searching for what’s going to make us happy and the answer is that there isn’t ever going to be just one thing. Fitness, the gym, these things make me happy. However, they shouldn’t be the only thing that defines me. You are not your job, your hobby, you are not one label either. We are all made up of many layers and its really difficult to live up to the perfect standard of just a single one. We are all so much more than we portray to the world.

Perhaps I’m changing the direction of this blog but I figure I can do that because I’m kind of the boss. If you’re here for fitness related content then I assure you there will still be plenty of that. Maybe thats what drew you to me in the first place. I just know I’m not alone in the feeling of being in a rut. I hope I can inspire others to break out of their comfort zones and do something that scares them. Let’s find the excitement that life has to offer.

Emily Laurence’s 5 Steps to Living Life to the Fullest

Break out of your routine
Take more risks
Change what you don’t like
Play more
Follow your own path

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